"There he is again, in the midst of his peers trying hard to legitimize his embarrassing mediocrities. There is nothing wrong about being mediocre. After all, we are all mediocre in one or two departments of life. Yet mediocrity is no virtue, and going to great lengths in a desperate attempt to justify it, to the point of becoming an advocate of it, is simply pathetic, if not dangerous. Yes, dangerous, for mediocrity spreads like wildfire as men are always on the lookout for ways to sugarcoat their wrongdoings. The lucid and honest acceptance of one’s mediocrity, on the other hand, can count as a virtue, for it seems to be the hardest thing. Especially among westerners; spoiled for millennia by their delusional Jewish ancestors who would go on and on reciting that fairy tale from the Book of Genesis until the lie became truth: Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that THEY MAY RULE over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."; oblivious to the fact that men are nothing but glorified beasts at the mercy of a mindless and whimsical Nature that couldn’t care less about who holds the high moral ground. Well, things are not getting any better, good luck deflating their ego now that grandma Science and aunt Technology are supplying grand toys to the minuscule men." F.G.
I have been wandering high and low in search for purpose, as though purpose was the key to happiness, if not the organizing principle of the universe, only to realize that the highest moments of my existence, those fleeting moments of unconditional harmony, or happiness, if you will, were moments of absolute purposelessness. Many have tried, all have failed, to find the purpose and meaning of life, probably because life has no "end" other than itself (and death of course). And isn't that relieving? Acknowledging the purposelessness of life? Stop trying to look for what is simply not there and maybe open that door and finally start "being"? Walking down the shore, pick up a pebble and simply "enjoy the pebble" without the unbearable lightness of what cannot be found (purpose)?
Has ever occurred to you that what you see when you look "yourself" in the mirror, what you unconsciously consider your "true" physical representation, is not what other people see? And not because they filter the image of you through their own "categories", but simply because they see you and not the mirror image of you, which is familiar to you only. Which is also the reason why when you look yourself in a photograph you have that weird feeling of being looking at the face of a stranger.
I always wondered how my personality would have developed in a world without mirrors and pictures. How would you relate to yourself and the others without a preformed image of yourself? If everything is relation, if there can be more than one image of yourself, with each image being no more real than the others, then who are you? Can you conceive yourself and the world without frames of reference? After all, isn't what we call "identity" just a set of rules that puts us in relation to our surroundings? And if that set or rules is arbitrary, then, isn't the very concept of identity a mere delusion? Then when people tells us "just be yourself", what the hell are they talking about?
I say: stop trying being "yourself", there is no such a thing, embrace your true nature, break the rules,
be no one!
I know that sanity comes down to the realization that there is no such thing as a mistake. I know also that such a doctrine is easily put in practice by those who have a short memory. Some say that the first to forget is the happiest. Yet this knowledge is of no use to me as my mistakes keep haunting me in the form of judgmental ghosts of the past. It appears I have somehow sublimated the Catholic guilt inculcated in me during my childhood into some self-destructive narcissistic sense of guilt towards myself. Bottom line, one does not simply walk away from the nonsense of Christianity.
Today I remembered the day I went to visit Auschwitz and Birkenau. During the relatively long trip to get there I found myself wondering as to how I would react upon stepping into such an unspeakable place. As I considered myself a human being I expected dread and horror to orchestrate my stream of emotions. Surprisingly, I turned out to be wrong and yet right in an unsettling and unexpected way. Be it because of all the movies, documentaries, books and video games that somehow prepared my mind to it, to the point of making it "familiar" to my eyes; or the noisy crowds of tourists, whose unbearable weight levels everything out to yet another mere touristic attraction; the moment I stepped onto that dead-end railway where thousands if not millions of people met the end of their lives: I felt NOTHING. Nothing?!.. It took me a while to realize that that was the real horror. I didn't feel anything because I got used to it, I had already assimilated and digested the horror and I was fine with it. It became part of my "normality". Only that, at a closer look, such mechanism is exactly what made realities such as concentration camps possible. Apparently slow and perpetual assimilation of bits of inhumanity is the key to dehumanization. Realizing my unanticipated "inhumanity", made me feel a monster on the par with an SS officer. I cried, I swear I cried like a baby that has lost his mom. I cried because I realized that the rules of such wicked game still hold to this day, here and now, in our everyday life. We go on with our miserable lives, driven by false myths of progress and ambitions dressed in gold, without realizing that behind our comforts there are hundreds of "invisible" 21st century "concentration camps". We do know that whenever we buy a cheap dress or an iPhone the price we pay goes beyond the one advertised on the price tag, we know that modern slavery and environmental disasters come with it. Nevertheless, we are so used to it, we consider such realities so far removed that we don't hear, we don't see, we don't want to see... No I wonder, is this what humanity stands for? Am I myself a "human" being? Humanity is not on the stock market, it can't be bought, one has to fight for humanity everyday. In the age of information one cannot hide behind the curtain of ignorance. Because we do know and we can't afford letting the horror wear off with time. Whenever compartments of our conscience go numb we are giving up a bit of our freedom. We can tell to ourselves that we live in a free country until the lie turns into truth, or start exercising that freedom and stand up for what humanity should really stand for!
Everybody is utterly shocked and appalled when, for once, the western world gets a taste of war within its own borders. How come nobody is terrified when the western world deliberately sentences to death millions of people in the middle east (e.g. Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Palestine..) and/or North Africa (e.g. Libya) just because an oligarchy has decided so (so that we can sustain our decadent lifestyle at home)?? Isn't that terrorism? (Maybe neoliberal Nazism would be the right nomenclature here) Or is it that 100 people here are worth more than 1 million people on the other side of the world? Is it really a case of "out of sight out of mind"? Maybe not, considering that we don't get it even when who actually manages to flee the war (again in millions) comes at our door asking for asylum. 21st century mass migrations and terrorism are to a great extent a product of the western world. The moment we will all realize this and take the responsibility for our horrible deeds, we will live in a better world.